The Drunken Sage

Just some random memories of playing ball.

2010-06-12T13:59:00.017+10:00

So I'm looking at my new basketball shoes which I'm wearing around the house to break them in, and a whole flood of great memories of my basketball days are coming back.

Wearing in my new shoes while watching Serenity, life is pretty good.

I grew up in the southern highlands of New South Wales and played most of my rep basketball for Mossvale, although I did play a few seasons in the Picton area. We were so arrogant and the comp was so poor that we played (and won) those seasons with a team of 4. I kinda shake my head at that now, it's just so rude.

Mossvale was a much better comp, and the rep team played against some very good competition in the NSW Country tournies. I even played a game or two for NSW Country, although I still apparently wasn't good enough for the Illawarra Juniors (though you can suck it, I didn't want to be there anyway, nyeaaah)..

It's strange to think about it now, but on my very first rep tour, I was involved with the hazing, rather than being hazed. We snuck into another player’s room and put coco pops all through the sheets. They came back later and we were all being idiots by jumping on the beds, which was crushing up the coco pops into tiny bits, then the bed owners were also jumping on their beds, crushing up everything even more... Well, it seemed a lot funnier when I was 16.

Speaking of the Illawarra Juniors, I had probably my best rep game against them. I wasn't put into the game until less than a minute to go in the first half and we were already down 20 points. I played the whole second half and was playing just a normal game until about 3 minutes in, I got dunked on. I was so angry that one the very next play I marched down the other end and nailed a fadeaway in his face (I couldn't dunk). From then on I just had this amazing confidence and finished somewhere in the 30s. We still lost by 20 but it meant we stayed with them in the second. The guy who dunked on me was joking with me after the game, I told him I wanted to dunk on him back but I couldn't dunk.

My final year playing basketball I was lucky enough to win the domestic regular season/finals MVP award. Our team ('Chips & Gravy', guess what we were eating when we came up with the name.. We thought it was the food of kings at the time) finished second in the regular season and the format of the finals was 1 plays 2, 3 plays 4. The winner of the 1-2 goes straight through and the loser plays the winner of 3-4. The first round was a tough game, they were always physical and beat us around a bit. We ended up losing by a single point, but the scoreboard was indicating that we were down 5. Very disappointing that someone can't work a scoreboard but we had another chance. After rolling through the semi finals (all I remember about that game was I threw a behind the back bounce pass that was way off the mark, but hit another trailer for an easy layup... I've never told anyone that was a total fluke before).

My assignment during the final was to guard a guy who scored 50 points in their final regular season game. I held him to 7 while putting in 28 of my own (pretty sure he was getting that MVP award until I did that), with our other guard adding 22. I also got credit for an assist that was actually a failed attempt to peg the ball at an opposing player. There was definitely no love lost after what happened in the first round of the playoffs.

Compared to some of my teammates over the years I was an angel, but as noted above, I had my moments. I loved the Knicks during the 90s and wanted to play like them. Tough, borderline illegal defence, I just really enjoyed shutting someone down. Some of the dirtier things included pinching pressure points, which was a popular thing when I was playing. I'd also throw the ball at opposing players knees if I was falling out of bounds, etc. Plus I once stood out on the 3 point line while I was meant to be defending, shouted "I'm open!" and found myself receiving the ball. I still don't know who was more surprised.

I also got injured more spectacularly playing basketball than I ever did with rugby union. I once slid half the length of the court on my back, tearing through my jersey somewhat (I still have the scars to prove it), and had to get my front two teeth reset after having them elbowed on a rebound attempt. I was in the hospital another time because my eye got scratched pretty deeply, and there's a scar on my left hand from when I went for a steal but instead slapped some gaudy ring someone was wearing during a pickup game.

But those were the days, you'd catch a train half an hour for a game of pickup, have hours of spare time to practice, play 5 games a week over 2 nights and 1 day... Good times, I can't wait to get back into it.

Drinking games for my favourite shows.

2010-01-20T08:59:00.003+11:00

So I was watching How I met your mother last night and the show was about a drinking game based around Robin, it got me thinking about drinking games and TV shows. As I was flicking through some of the TV shows on my media centre I decided to list some drinking games related to those shows.

Alias

- One shot every time Sydney cries.
- One shot any time Sloane takes a drink of something and is creepy about it (wiping away water from his mouth or slurping wine)
- One shot anytime there's a meeting with a contact at some form of nightclub
- One shot any time someone says a greeting (hi, hey) and the exact same greeting is repeated back.
- One shot any time 47 is used
- One shot any time a mission doesn't go according to plan
- One shot any time Rambaldi is mentioned
- Two shots any time Will uses an accent

Arrested Development

- One shot every time the word "Illusion" is used
- One shot any time someone says "I've made a huge mistake"
- One shot any time someone says "No touching"
- One shot for EVERY chicken dance
- One shot any time Final Countdown is played
- One shot any time Tobias says or does something out of context

Bionic Woman (remake)

- One shot every time you say "Damn I probably could have written something better"

Dollhouse

- One shot whenever Alpha is mentioned
- One shot any time Topher invents something
- One shot any time Adelle takes a drink
- One shot any time Boyd is concerned about Echo
- One shot any time the attic is mentioned
- Two shots if someone realises they are actually in the attic
- Two shots any time you find out someone is really a Doll
- Two shots any time Boyd Smiles

Firefly

- Two shots any time River Tam says something that makes sense
- One shot any time Summer Glau makes you swoon (this one is probs just for me)
- One shot any time Mal says something condescending, yet funny
- One shot any time Serenity flies off in a hurry
- One shot any time Wash is playing with dinosaurs
- One shot any time a main character speaks Chinese
- One shot any time someone says "shiny"
- One shot any time Jayne uses innuendo
- One shot any time Kaylee says something technical
- One shot every time Wash hits those same three switches on Serenity
- One shot when there's a mention or you see the "hands of blue"

How I met your mother

- One shot every time Barney says "Legendary"
- One shot every time Barney says "Suit up"
- Two shots if it's a variation of suit up (E.G. "Snow suit up")
- One shot every time Barney does a magic trick
- One shot every time Marshall goes on an angry rant
- One shot every time Barney does a "wait for it"
- One shot any time Star Wars is referenced
- One shot any time Lily meddles in someone else's life
- One shot any time Lily gives someone a disapproving look
- Two shots if they explode as a result
- One shot when a prop is used to cover up a pregnant belly
- Two if it's hilarious (Tiny Lily holding a massive oversize bowl of chips)
- One shot any time Ted starts a new relationship (Girlfriend, not one night stand)

Mad Men

- One shot for any sexual harassment in the work place
- One shot any time Joan's arse or boobs are the camera's main focus (Have one for each boob if you like, they're worthy)
- One shot any time someone has an affair
- One shot any time Joan is a bitch
- One shot any time someone pours a drink
- Two if it's Peggy
- One shot any time Don rescues a failing client meeting

True Blood

- One shot for every Boob

SLAP BET!

2009-11-18T12:01:00.010+11:00

My party pack is WHAT?!?!?!

2009-10-06T07:36:00.002+11:00

So rude....

Dan Murphy’s Event Planner tells you how much booze you need (spoiler alert in my case, lots)

2009-09-24T14:56:00.002+10:00

So I love Dan Murphy's. They have Magners and a great selection of wines. But now if I'm ever wondering just how much grog I'm going to need at my next party, I can use the Event Planner to find out.

It's a pretty similar formula. Number of guests and duration of party, but it's still kinda neat.

http://www.danmurphys.com.au/build-an-event-plan.html

Party at Sage's - Sunday, October 25th

2009-09-18T12:19:00.013+10:00

I had an e-mail forwarded to me the other day. Microsoft, with House Party want people to host Windows 7 Launch parties. Now I laughed my arse off at first, thinking it'd be like a tupperware party with people trying to sell windows 7 and the like. The whole thing is ridiculous of course and a shamless ploy to get people looking at Windows 7.

But I continued reading the e-mail. There were themes of the party, those were:

PhotoPalooza
Media Mania
Setting up with Ease
Family Friendly Fun

Family fun? But where's the alcohol?

I don't know what Photo Palooza entails. Setting up with ease, who cares. Family Friendly Fun? Well I don't really have any family nearby, which is sad (thanks for making me think about that, Microsoft. Fuck you and your family). But Media Mania sounds right up my alley seeing as my only technological interest outside of work lies in my kick arse media centre setup.

So I signed up. I decided that what I'll do is have a casual Sunday Sesh at my place, where people can rock up whenever, have some mimosa's and a bit of a fry up, check out the media centre and have a mess around with it, we'll watch some tv shows through the Media Browser, play some games, watch funny and stupid youtube clips, all through the media centre provided by Windows 7.

MediaBrowser kinda kicks arse

Using MediaBrowser, all my TV shows and Movies are organised in a clean layout, with pictures and episode descriptions of each title. Using Yougle, I can search and watch clips on youtube, without leaving the couch or trying to get a crowd of people around my laptop so I can show them the monkey peeing on itself for the 50th time.

With EmuCenter I've been able to finally finish Sonic 3..
Well actually I'm stuck on the same bit as I was in 1994...

I've configured a game emulation system on my Windows 7 Media Centre, loaded up all my old Sega Megadrive and Nintendo 64 games that I own or used to own (for legal reasons, yes I did own all the games that are on my media centre ;) ), and you can play them quite easily. I've even improved the TV guide in Media Centre, instead of the channel names appearing in the TV Guide, full colour logos are provided.

With Youtube available through media centre, I can watch my
Knicks fail in any era I like at the push of a button.

In addition to the above extra features I've added, out of the box media centre provides a great platform to watch and record TV, as well as schedule recordings and record a series automatically. It has live pause and rewind of whatever TV show you're watching, and even displays the closed captions automatically when muted (which I thought was so cool!).

So if you're not doing anything on Sunday, October 25th, feel free to stop in for a house pomp. It'll basically be just a Sunday sesh with drinks, bbq and TV, but you'll be able to see the power of a Windows 7 Media centre (if not, I'll tell you I'm sure. I don't consider myself establishment or anti-establishment, I just love my media centre).

Wallabies v Springboks recap - Sage style

2009-08-31T10:27:00.009+10:00

Kickoff: Giteau kicks off deep and Fourie du Preez kicks it right back, where the Wallabies knock the ball into touch. They're let off the hook though as the boks get done for obstruction.

3min: O'Connor makes a break and the Wallabies make some decent ground to the Springbok's 10m line. Scrumflyhalfcentrefullback George Smith tries a grubber kick but Pienaar cleans up and sends it back downfield.

5min: Try to the boks. After a wave of attacking phases the Springboks find themselves in the Wallabies 22 and are given a penalty. At least seven Wallabies all have their back to play and Fourie du Preez practically moonwalks over the line. You'd get beaten up for doing that shit at club level, I thought this was meant to be the pinnacle of what we have to offer. Steyn converts for an early 7-0 lead.

7min: Springboks receive and kick downfield, Richard Brown, who has contracted both seagulling and retard from Nathan Sharpe, makes a foolish attempt to catch the ball and knocks it into touch giving the visitors precious territory.

9min: The Springboks of course win the lineout and control possession down the field.

10min: Another try to the bok... Jacque Fourie plays second receiver and runs through a hole big enough to fit Members Equity Stadium and 17,288 people in it to score. Steyn misses from 5m to the left of the posts, which sucks for them but the Wallabies are still worse.

13min: Penalty Wallabies. The home side had a real roll on, phase after phase and making some good ground. The Boks infringed in the ruck - which is only surprising because they got penalised for it. Giteau's attempts gets close but doesn't make it. 12-0 boks.

15min: Springboks have an advantage down in their own half an aimlessly boot the ball downfield. Rocky Elsom has a brain explosion and knocks the ball on. The camera cuts to supercoach Robbie Deans up on the booth, writing something in his notepad. Possibly, "Elsom not playing well so far, definite starter next week".

17min: Wallabies are penalised for collapsing the scrum on their own 10m line, which for some reason we get pinged for a lot, because it's obviously clever strategy on our part and not just the ref being a toolbox. Steyn's kick is good, giving the Boks a 15-0 lead.

18min: Penalty Wallabies. Instead of taking the easy points to make it 15-3, they go for the lineout 5 metres out from the Springboks' line. Could be a try coming here.

19min: ...or not, Wallabies knock the ball on instead. Luckily for the home side however the Springboks throw a forward pass to give possession right back to the Wallabies.

21min: The Springboks steal the ball, Steyns attempt to kick for touch goes out on the full so it comes right back.

23min: Giteau puts Rocky Elsom in some space and he makes a great run down the sideline. He then loses the ball when he goes to ground, dispite this he is easily Australia's best on field so far. Supercoach Deans again writing in his notebook, "Elsom playing well, drop from 22 next week".

25min: Springboks are caught offside off their own kick. Penalty Wallabies on the Boks' 10m line. Giteau misses again, he must have really hated Perth. Score remains 15-0

27min: Another penalty to the Wallabies after a Springbok spend a little too long lying in the play of the ball area in the ruck, which is totally unlike them. Giteau finally makes a kick and the leads is now 15-3 the Springboks way.

31min: Penalty Springboks. The Wallabies try cheating for once and of course get pinged instantly. Steyn however misses the penalty. 15-3 Springboks.

33min: Try time, uh huh, to the Springboks... The visitors go up and under which Lachie Turner can't take cleanly, he fumbles the ball right to Bryan Habana who crosses the line. Steyn hits the conversion to increase the lead to 22-3.

38min: The Wallabies through some sort of dark magic bumble their way down to the South Africa 22 and then get a free kick off a scrum caused by Habana knocking-on. They spread the ball left but are awarded a penalty for the Springboks infringing in the ruck, which is just ridiculous. Giteau takes the three just before halftime, 22-6.

40min: Bloody disaster so far... what else is on....

41min: This show called the squiz on sbs seems alright.

42min: The Wallabies manage to get down past the bok 22. They pile on the pressure and draw a penalty. Burgess, who had watched Fourie du Preez do the same thing in the first half, cleverly takes the tap and passes to Giteau who scores. Robbie writes in the notebook "Burgess to the bench next week". Springboks lead now 22-13

45min: Penalty against the Springboks for packing in on the angle in the scrum. Giteau sends a kick down to the bok 22.

47min: Good, solid play from the Wallabies, attacking using the forwards, committing to the ruck and spreading the ball wide through the backs. What bloody team is this? O'Connor runs at the line but can't free the pass and knocks it on, which is more like it. Eddie Jones must be laughing it up.

49min: Springboks knock the ball on off a high bomb from O'Connor. Scrum Wallabies on the half. Wallabies then awarded a penalty after the Boks collapse the scrum. Giteau finds touch just outside the Boks' 22m

52min: JP Pietersen kicks from inside his 22m to find touch inside the Wallabies' 22m... bugger.

54min: Habana knocks on. Hahahah dumbar-...ah fuck.

54min: Habana gets his second try... Wallabies defenders confused and and for the second time, a Springbok could practically stroll over the line. Steyn converts and the scoreline blows out to 29-13... Fuck this.

58min: Harry, Ron and Hermione are taking the OWLs, there's some knocking outside the great hall. Umbridge goes to investigate.

60mins: The weasley twins fly in on brooms and interupt the exams with magical cherry bomb things.

62mins: The twins are still flying around, Umbridge is going to the pocket to red card them but the twins are like stfu and fly away. Harry faints or something.

65mins: Sirius is in trouble, the guys are off to London when Harry just should have used his magic mirror.

70mins: Flick back to the rugby, Wallabies still fucked.

76min: Wallabies score a conselation try. Quade Cooper probes at the line and passes to Giteau who cuts inside. Flashy stuff from the home side at last. Giteau misses from in front..W T F.... Springboks lead 32-18.

80min: The Wallabies get their third try of the match, showing that when the game is over and the defense is tired, the Wallabies can be a classy, attacking team.

The final score of 32-25 looks very respectable on paper and will no doubt hide a hell of a lot of problems the Wallabies have. Deans will go back to the drawing board and pick some more people that really shouldn't be there. That moss is really creeping now!

Hottest Women's XV

2009-08-14T11:13:00.027+10:00

We did this on GoTheTahs once before and it got deleted because of all the hits from guests it was getting, but I thought it might be worth giving it another bash. It's easy, pick 15 hot chicks, arrange them by size and ability and make a rugby team.

1. Nigella Lawson - England have in the past been able to put up a decent scrum, their women would be no exception either.

2. Monica Bellucci - Adds experience (oh the things she could teach) to the front row.

3. Kate Winslet - The second part of the all English prop pairing. Like Nigella, not really a big woman, but good looking and should have the skill to push in the scrum.

4. Summer Glau - Good jumper in the lineout and based on the Sarah Connor Chronicles, should do well around the park.

5. Miranda Kerr - Tall and beautiful, Miranda is a model so there's a fair chance she's traveled the world and knows at least some of many different languages. Can help the team decipher opposition lineout calls.

6. Charlize Theron - South African so she can show a bit of mongrel which we need at number 6.

7. Lena Katina - A very tough choice, but I've gone with one of the "fake lesbians" from Tatu. No one will expect her to be head first in the ruck, searching for balls, cos she's a lesbo right? R-right?

8. Angelina Jolie - Tough, gorgeous and awesome. Two of those things you need to be a good 8, one you don't (but it doesn't hurt).

9. Lily Allen - Yet another English inclusion, Lily is small and snipey. She should be able to whip the ball out as quickly as her candid remarks.

10. Scarlett Johansson - With a rack that size, she'd need to have great awareness of her surroundings (so she doesn't knock shit over), so she's the ideal choice for Flyhalf.

11. Alison Carroll - The English former gymnast is the current "Lara Croft" model. Athletic enough to speed past the defense.

12. Jessica Alba - Nimble and able to dart past defenses without being spotted (at least in Dark Angel she was), Jessica Alba adds flair to the backline, plus she kicks arse, so it stands to reason that she could kick a ball.

13. Michelle Ryan - Hot and strong (in Bionic Woman), Michelle Ryan is who you want to give the ball to when you need to get over the advantage line.

14. Eliza Dushku - Relatively new addition to the squad, Eliza comes from a creative team and will add some dynamic playmaking to the group.

15. Elisha Cuthbert - Once played a pornstar so that experience means she'll be safe under the high ball.

Just missed the cut:
Jennifer Garner
Natalie Portman
Rachel McAdams
Kate Beckinsale
Aishwarya Rai

Got a hotter XV? Let me know (post pics too!)

Australian anti-censorship video trying to get on Qantas

2009-07-10T09:00:00.005+10:00

Stephen Conroy, the douche behind the "Lets censor the interwebs" scheme... Well I had no follow up for that except to say that he's a bit of a douche.

GetUp, has created a great commercial in response to this and they're hoping to get onto every Qantas flight in the country. The idea is that most politicians will be flying at some time during this time and they'll be a captive audience. Anyway, the ad is brilliant and they need donations to get it on air, please help!"

Tech stuff: Digital Education Revolution and my Media Centre PC

2009-04-02T10:36:00.013+11:00

So you may have heard during the election last year, some craaazy promises were made about getting each school student a computer. Well NSW has finished the tenure process and has selected Lenovo (IBM) to provide these laptops to students 9-12. Teachers will also be receiving the notebooks in order to understand the technology.

In a contract worth $150 million, Lenovo will be providing 257,000 IdeaPad S10e laptops, the first batch of which will be ready in July.I got a chance to see one last week and they're tiny, about the size of half a keyboard or thereabouts. All I'm allowed to say at the moment in terms of what will be on these laptops is it'll be Windows 7, and it'll hook into the Aruba wireless system going into schools.

Battery life could be a problem in these things but we'll see I guess.

But ANYWAY!!!..... Enough about that, I want to talk about how bloody awesome/wankish my Windows 7 media centre is, and how even better I hope it will be when more developers release updates to their software so they run on Windows 7.

So I've done the normal things with it, copied my TV shows and arranged them into folders, started ripping some DVDs and movies and put them in the movies section, it's setup to watch and record live TV, scheduled, recording, etc. But then I started thinking that there must be more I can do with it.

I tried unsuccessfully to get WebGuide working on it. WebGuide is an awesome software that lets you interact with your media centre from anywhere that has an internet connection. So you could schedule something to record from your PC at work, or from a PDA/iPhone, even if you were sitting outside and wanted to skip a song that was playing on the media centre, you could log on with your phone and pick a different song or playlist. Unfortunately WebGuide doesn't work on Windows 7, hopefully one day (apparently the developer of WebGuide has been hired by Microsoft, so maybe we'll get something like this natively in Ultimate).

Using a piece of software called Restorator you can create custom backgrounds for your media centre. So you can get your media centre looking less windowsish and have something like this.

I've also hooked up my media centre to my twitter account. From what I've been able to figure out about the point of twitter, it's to update people you don't know about things you're doing that they probably don't care about. So now, any time I watch something, the world can know all about it. You can also tell it to only update twitter during certain times, or to confirm the update being sent, so if you want to play the file "Busty asian chick and blonde hotty get dirty" late at night, you can make it not tell the whole world about that.

Using a utility called iPodifier, whatever I record on the media centre can be converted to an ipod friendly format and then automatically gets added into itunes. I've scheduled that as a nightly task, it checks to see if there's anything new in a folder, if there is it converts it and then puts it into itunes. So if I remembered to connect my ipod to the media centre so it can charge, it'll all be on there when I wake up in the morning.

I'm currently working on a solution where I can put a DVD into the drive and it immediately starts ripping the movie. I can get it to rip the entire DVD and place it in my DVD folder so media centre can understand it as soon as it's done, but I want it to automatically just rip the movie, I don't want the menu's, extras or any of that crap. Stay tuned I guess.

Another piece of software called Yougle allows you to watch youtube and other streamed sources from within media centre. It can even hook into to homestar runner and play Strongbad e-mails! Sadly I'm struggling to get this to work, although an update for windows 7 is on the way!

At the moment I schedule my torrents separately, the file just ends up getting dumped in its appropriate folder. There's a project in development called gnusense, which appears to be a limeware/torrent type program that you add into media centre. Hopefully some more info comes out about that soon.

So there's some things that work, some things that don't and some that are in progress. But honestly I'm loving this setup at the moment.

Super 15 expansion, my letter to SANZAR.

2009-03-14T18:23:00.009+11:00

Dearest SANZAR,

I know we haven't always gotten along. In fact I've often said that your "dudiciary" system is a big joke and should be replaced with a "spin the wheel" sort of system. However it's time we had a talk, it's about the Super 15 competition.

Sure, it'll give journo's a whole heap of new puns to play with relating to the number of players on a team, or the fullback, with the slight inconvenience of Greg Growden having to alter the "Not so Super 14" article he re-hashes every year, but where will we get some benefit in having an extra team.

The South Africans are pushing hard for a sixth team. Six teams in South Africa!? WHA!? Two of their teams are celler dwellers in the comp as it is. If they're that desperate to showcase 2nd division rugby then they should table the relegation system again.

Creating a fifth team in Australia also doesn't make sense, I'm still waiting on Australia's fourth team to happen. It'd be a bit like creating a sixth Die Hard movie, oh what's that? There's no fifth Die Hard movie? Exactly...

The competition needs expansion in different ways. It needs to sell the game outside of the three current nations, it needs to get more bums on seats, it needs to get the game more exposed. In short, we needs monies from overseas.

The options that make any sense at all are those involving Argentina or Japan, even the USA has been mentioned. Japan or the US would certainly be able to pump some money into the competition. Plus how cool does SANZUSAR, or SANZJAR sound! SANZJAR pretty much writes itself from an advertising point of view, and it'd be much less gay than the "Putting on dirty jerseys" campaign the super 14 started with.. Don't act like you don't remember that crap.

The expanded competition should also include a conference system (basically every American comp with lots of teams has a system like this and works well) meaning more games between local teams, less travel and maybe even some money saved.

SANZAR also need to negotiate a good deal with News Limited (Foxtel) with a bit of room for some free-to-air coverage. In turn they then need to get a good deal from the FTA networks. The surplus from the 2003 world cup is gone, pissed away on god knows what (it certainly didn't go towards investing in the ARC, a stepping stone competition to the Super 14), so they need to look at ways in getting money in this bad economic time.

So to summerize, please include Japan into the tournament, expand the comp to include more local derby's which can be shown on free-to-air, and lets get some coin from overseas, which you'll find automatically expands the game globally and helps out a fringe nation.

Thank you for your time.

Luv, Sage.

6 Nations wrap (well, sort of... it's very biased)

2009-03-02T20:20:00.003+11:00

Ireland: Potential for 6 Nations, Triple Crown and Grand Slam.

Brian O'Driscoll is back, Ronan O'Gara is not. Ireland's "Golden age" is quickly coming to an end, the biological clock is ticking for more than half the team and the quality of the players coming through are not enough to avoid a steep dive in the future. The time is now for them.

My adopted northern-hemisphere team came into the tournament with very limited fanfare, that is until about 60 minutes into their first game. Knocking off France -the team that denied Ireland a 6 nations title every freaking year- was a big get. They are now in the drivers seat with 2 rounds to go.

Calling shotgun is Wales, 2 competition points behind Ireland and with a 23 points differential gap. France statistically have a chance also but I just don't see it. England have provided the much-needed comic relief to the tournament, despite their continuing strategy of choking the life out of the game. No, this is very much a two horse race and only one of these teams were expected to be there at the end.

Ireland should beat Scotland, and they'll probably need to by a country mile. Wales are playing Italy this weekend and will no doubt rack up an easy win. Unlike the tri-nations, there are no bonus points. In the event of tied competition points, points differential (that is 'points for' minus 'points against') are used to decide the ladder. This happens every year so it's vital for the Irish to put some points on Scotland too.

I joke all the time about Scotland being a third-world rugby nation, in fact for some sick reason I love any joke at Scotland's expense, even more than a "Welshman cutting off his testy's" joke. However there have been signs of life recently. They took South Africa to the wire late last year, and beat Italy for once. They're not exactly the easybeats they normally are, however I'm still hopeful of a big score.

If all goes to plan, Ireland will venture into Cardiff still with the 2 competition points buffer. If Ireland win, they will take home the 6 nations championship, the triple crown and the grand slam. If they lose, they could still be holding the 6 nations trophy depending on points differential. Regardless, I'm gonna be watching this game with Magners in hand, singing Ireland's Call at the top of my voice.

In other news, Ronan O'Gara is only four points shy of Johnny Wilkinson's individual points record in the 6 nations. Hopefully he can get his kicking boots on (unlike this week) and seal that up too.

Ireland start 6 Nations on a massive high.

2009-02-08T07:35:00.010+11:00

A site not seen for a while: The Irish celebrating.

For the first time in what feels like forever, Ireland will begin a 6 nations campaign without Eddie O'Sullivan at the reigns. In years to come, I'm positive O'Sullivan will be remembered fondly, afterall he was the most successful coach in Irish history. However this was supposed to be a "golden age" of Irish rugby, and the teams put together over the years would back that up.

Unfortunately over the last couple of years the team and culture O'Sullivan built began to collapse around him, with everybody noticing except the coach. Dispite the many breakdowns within the team, Ireland still weren't far off beating teams such as Wales, France and New Zealand last year. That ability to never give up the fight is one that should continue under new Ireland coach Declan Kidney.

At the end of the day this is a fresh start with the team looking to put all that history behind them, including a seven match losing streak against France. Ireland got off to a great start to end that streak when the cheating French cheated at the breakdown, penalty to Ireland and an easy kick for O'Gara. France's first try through Harinordoquy on the left touchline was in my opinion soft, however the Irish defense was solid for most of the game (Les Kiss' influence no doubt).

For all of France's cheating and hard work to go up 7-3, they managed to conceed a penalty on the restart from the try, which O'Gara slotted to make the score 7-6, France.

Ireland looked mostly solid in all aspects of the game, they were relying more on a kicking game than running with the ball (by contrast France tended to run on more occasions), the defence was still fairly strong and surprisingly the ruck support was very good. It was the support play that led to Ireland's next try through number 8 Jamie Heaslip, using some nice footwork to crash over. Cheap, cheating France snuck over a drop goal just on half time, 13-10 Ireland at the break.

The second half was two minutes in when Ireland scored through Mr. Awesome Brian O'Driscoll, breaking the defence twice and showing vision and acceleration to cross under the posts. O'Gara converted to put Ireland 10 points ahead but the cheating french struck back seven minutes later, Maxime Medard getting an incredibly lucky bounce from a chip kick to put down in the corner. Another cheap drop goal followed from the frenchies to make the score 20-18 to Ireland.

Ireland hit back and showed over 80 minutes they were the dominant side. Gordon D'Arcy, on for Mr. Kinda Awesome Paddy Wallace, showed great vision by cutting back against the sliding french, side-stepping his way over from eight metres out in the 66th minute to put the Irish back in control.

Beauxis and O'Gara swapped penalties in the final five minutes, but the home fans had already begun celebrating a famous victory knowing Ireland's lead was unassailable.

In other news, apparently the poms beat Italy or something... Good for them.

Ireland
Tries Heaslip (34), O'Driscoll (43), D'Arcy (66)
Cons O'Gara (34, 43, 66)
Pens O'Gara (2, 16, 77)
Drops none

France
Tries Harinordoquy (14), Medard (49)
Cons Beauxis (15)
Pens Beauxis (75)
Drops Beauxis (40, 52)

Memories of living in Sydney City - Shenanigans at boxing day sales

2009-01-24T18:50:00.013+11:00

In the early 00's, I lived on Elizabeth St in the Sydney CBD. Across from Hyde park (beautiful during the day, wouldn't go in there at night cos you might get stabbed), one street down from Oxford (kinda the same story as Hyde park but for different reasons... well actually, you still might get 'stabbed'). Things were good, never before or after did I have such freedom to get pissed in the middle of one of the greatest cities in the world, and then simply stumble a couple of blocks home.

Somewhere else I didn't live far from was the huge David Jones store in the city. For those that don't know, every year David Jones and Myer (Still Grace Bros I think at this point) would have massive boxing day sales. People would line up hours before opening hoping to get a bargain.

So many times you'd flick over to the evening news on boxing day to hear about some schmuck that's lost a finger or broken their pancreas or some crap. We got to thinking that this was even more vicious than the running of the bulls. This is the story of the first year we turned the boxing day sales into our own running of the bulls.

Typical cockfags who legitimately do the boxing day sales.

After doing the usual family Christmas, then girlfriend's family Christmas, it was time to get to some light drinking while preparing for the next day. The kit consisted of blue adidas short shorts, blue adidas singlet, white headband, pedometer strapped to my arm, white runners, and a red texta to re-mark prices. We all looked ready to run a marathon and I can tell you it felt like it too.

The basic plan was to run around like spastics, taunting, pointing out bargains and basically pulling the strings of the morons that go to this sort of thing. Creating chaos and then running away from it, the principle of the real running of the bulls.

We rocked up at about half seven to see a couple of hundred people there already. We started stretching, jogging on the spot, checking pulses, all that athlete crap. We split up a little in order to make our way towards the front of the line (jogging up and down on the spot made this a little easier). I didn't personally make it to the front but a couple of friends did, it was up to me to catch up as soon as the doors opened, but therein lies the fun.

Doors open and apprently straight away two people have fallen over and are getting trampelled. "Shit, I'm missing the running of the bullshit!", I thought. In my excitement I'm actually jumping up and down on the spot which was good as my character should have been doing that anyway. A few people around me got the funny but most didn't know what I was doing there ("This is shopping, not jogging dumbarse", said one woman. I felt better knowing that she'd no doubt get mauled at some point).

Stagedive anyone?

The morning was a bit of a blur. I got in and could see my mates already up the escalators. We'd decided if there were more chicks in first we'd go to the shoes section, if it were blokes we'd hit electronics. I looked around and it was mostly guys so I bustled past a bunch of people and headed up the escalators, remembering to shout out things like, "I can't believe that's half price!", along the way.

The red marker made it's first appearance of the morning. My christmas spirit still overflowing from the previous day (I had afterall, enjoyed a wonderful English Christmas pudding and found the good luck penny within), I decided to be generous and mark down a few tv's to 70% off.

I found a fridge that was 50% off and decided to make it 40%, then crossed that out and wrote 30%. The trail of what I'd done was obvious and no-doubt confused a few people.

I spent a fair ammount of time in the music and dvd section waiting for someone to make a selection and then swiping the case just before they got to it. If I was feeling particularly cheeky I'd let them pick it up before pinching it off them and then run in and between the aisles, letting them chase me. I'd then stop, pretend to be a matador and eventually give the case back, telling them what a good sport they are. I tried that same thing in the shoes section but those bitches are crazy, man. I literally got smacked across the head with a shoe (who throws a shoe, honestly). It hurt but this was the rush I was looking for. Why go to Pamplona when we've got a better and more humane alternative in our own backyard.

Unfortunately after about the first half hour things had settled down a little and people weren't running around as much which put a bit of a damper on our efforts. All we could do for a finale was start jogging up the down escalators pretending it was a giant treadmill, shouting encouraging things at each other ("Move it faggot, I want to buy some dvds"), then when we were done, we jogged down the up escalator (which is surprisingly hard) and headed home where we sat on the balcony drinking and laughing our arses off for the rest of the day.

From memory we didn't do it again the very next year as there was a lot of smoke and ashes covering the city from a nearby fire, so I was down south with my family. But for two years after that we did the same thing. It was an amazing experience and I'd be keen to do it all over again if there were any takers.

Profound lyrics from shithouse songs

2009-01-23T18:23:00.004+11:00

Some of these lyrics really make you think. I am on my third Magners at the moment and I'm pondering a lot of the lyrics I'm hearing on 'Max' (mostly 90's pop).

"If you want my future, forget my past" (If only girlfriends listened to this)

"Stop, collaborate and listen" (If only EVERYONE listened to this)

"Hit me baby one more time" (1999, who knew that someone really should have... but I'd still go there)

"I would do anything for love, but I won't do that" (My sad, sick little mind always imagines it has something to do with Cleveland steamers).

"You're like my sound, I wanna pump ya. You're like my car, I wanna wax ya" (Pick up line extraordinaire)

"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down" (Had to.... had to.. Rickrolled yo bitch ^_^ )

"She wants it so I gotta give it to her" (Makes sense to me)

"Womanizer woman-womanizer. You're a womanizer" (Actually no... No idea what she's trying to say here)

"And when the samba played the sun would set so high" (Huh? But the sun sets... oh nevermind)

"Skidmarks on my heart" (eww, just... ewww. This is what I was talking about earlier. I understand you, Meatloaf)

"Lucky that my breasts are small and humble. So you don't confuse them with mountains" (Lucky, cos you know.. A chick with mountains for bewbs.. well that's clearly unappealing)

"I love you like A fat kid loves cake" (It is often noted that fat kids do love cake)

"There's an insect in your ear. If you scratch, it won't disappear" (It's actually good advice when you think about it)

"Your butt is mine" (Again... Who knew)

"Coast to coast, L.A. to Chicago" (I'm positive there's something profound in this... Well actually no I just added it because of how stupid it is. Let me illustrate)

"I could have another you in a minute. Matter fact he'll be here in a minute" (In my view this gives a fair insight into the female mind. Dumping some dude and then going out with another one just like him)

"Your best friend Harry, Has a brother Larry. In five days from now, He's gonna marry. He's hopin' you can make it, There if you can. 'Cause in the ceremony, You'll be the best man" (There could be some solid advice in this. Don't ask your best friend to be your best man, ask his brother)

"I'm respected from Californ-i-a Way down to Japan" (I'm positive there's something profound in this... Well actually no I just added it because of how stupid it is. Let me illustrate... oh fuck I already used that joke)

"I'm hot 'cause I'm fly. You ain't 'cause you're not" (Simple and to the point, but it still hurts to hear, jerk)

"I drew a line, I drew a line for you. Oh what a thing to do, And it was all yellow" (Drew a yellow line? That can mean only one thing... Know what else rhymes with yellow? Snow... One of the greatest known pieces of advice: Don't eat the yellow snow).

"Only time will tell, If we stand the test of time" (I really don't need to add anything here)

What I'm playing on the Wii and why #3

2009-01-23T12:06:00.008+11:00

Avatar: Into the Inferno

Best Avatar game, coolest Avatar title, but is that enough?

Avatar, the kids show that's probably watched by more adults than kids (mainly because Nickelodeon had little to do with the show) ran for three seasons, following the adventures of Aang, -the conduit between the living and spirit worlds- who can bend all of the four elements. This game focuses on the third and final "book" of the series, where Aang learns how to bend fire and his ultimate final battle with the evil (Read: Eeeeeevvvviiillll) fire lord.

The first thing to notice about this game is unless you're a fan of the show or have played the first two games, you really won't know what's going on story-wise. The game starts with a very short introduction and is mainly aimed at fans of the show.

Gameplay/Controls:

It always interests me how game developers take advantage of the wii-mote. Some thought obviously went into this game as there's a lot of improvement over Burning Earth, however it still didn't feel as intuitive as it could have been.

You'll get clued in on what parts of the environment you can manupulate as the symbol for that particular element will appear when you move the wii-mote over it. For example to earthbend a ledge from a cliff you would aim the wii-mote, press the interact button and then pull the wii-mote towards you. That's one of the more intuitive examples, most of them don't seem relevant to what you're trying to accomplish.

Fighting and bending in battle is also not what I expected. I found there are limited combo-moves available when battling an enemy and the bending attacks seem very weak. In fact as much as I love the concept of bending, I ended up using Sokka most of the time as his sword was a better weapon than the bending. This combination of limited fighting/bending moves and the time it takes to dispatch an enemy can make the player bored pretty quickly.

The other thing that bugged me about the gameplay (although not really important) is that in previous games, your "buddy" for that level would be at your side, whereas in this game there's only the one character on screen and you switch between them. Not a big deal, but the suspension of disbelief disappears when those two characters are having a conversation in game.

Graphics:

The graphics are very solid and do a good job representing the same style of the cartoon. The characters in the game and in cutscenes are very faithful. Unfortunately it's the camera that seems to let everything down, it's sometimes hard to see what you're meant to be doing, who you're fighting or getting an entire puzzle to appear on screen.

Audio:

The audio tracks are mostly lifted straight from the show and are great at setting the mood of the level. Plus any game based on a movie of tv show gets bonus points from me when they use the original voice actors.

Bonus:

Bonus material consists of character bios and some limited upgrades for your character's skills. There's also a mini game involving Aang flying on his glider. I didn't play this much as the controls were pretty ordinary, not a good thing considering I only played the mini game as I was bored with the main game.

While this by all appearances is a negative review, fans of the series who were disappointed by the last two games will probably get a kick out of this.

Gameplay: 5/10
Graphics: 8/10
Audio: 8/10
Replay value: Little
Recommendation: Hire it first
Overall: 6/10

Maple Syrup

2009-01-12T12:34:00.001+11:00

Maple Syrup: Not much of a choice really.

What I'm playing on the Wii at the moment and why, #02

2009-01-06T14:57:00.008+11:00

Quantum of Solace

One of the games I'm playing at the moment is Quantum of Solace, the video game version of the new James Bond movie. I haven't seen the movie but I can imagine that the game is more fun, basically all I've done is chased and shot people, but in different locations. Boring movie but fun if you're the one doing it.

The single player isn't all that exciting, like I said you run around shooting and chasing people, it's been done before. The real fun has been online multiplayer. You can pick from different character classes, like a double-o agent, merc, mastermind, etc. It's fairly well balanced in multiplayer but I prefer the double-o agent (he has a bluetooth headset, cool!)

It's been forever since I've found a shooter that I enjoy playing online, in fact since Unreal Tournament (that's right, the original) I've mostly found them boring. While QOS isn't unreal tournament, it certainly gives you enough health per life to get a decent game in (I.E. only the sniper rifle will give you a one shot kill, apart from grenades and the like). Apart from guns, you can throw different types of grenades, including proximity and smoke bombs. The combination of different classes has certainly made for some interesting times in battle.

For example, if you see a dead body on the ground you can take whatever weapon they were carrying. Basically to do this you stand over the body and hold down (-). This takes a few seconds so from your point of view you see someone running, then just stop cold, giving you ample time to shoot them. So if you do it enough times you'll have a pile of bodies on top of one another.

You can shoot around corners while exposing very little of your body, so often times you'll see two people shooting it out while hiding around corners. I've been employing the tactic of firing a single shot, pausing, then hoping that when I next fire is when they decide to jump out.

So many times when I find a good hiding spot to camp/snipe from, someone would take the direct approach and run at me in the open, they'd end up firing at the wall while I shot them. Finally someone had the bright idea to drop a couple of grenades in the room, I had to shoot a window and jump through it to escape.

One of the best kills I've had to date was when someone threw a smoke grenade at me in a stairwell. I decided to just crouch in the stairwell and hide in the smoke. My crosshairs were aimed down the stairs where the grenade came from and I just patiently waited for the cursor to change from white to red (meaning someone is there) and blindly fired, poor guy. He later decided to get revenge by blowing both of us up with grenades time and time again (so I couldn't get credit for the kill), so I left.

If you have a wii and play it online, give this one a try. It's one of the best FPS style game for the wii.

What I've learned from Dragonball Z

2009-01-02T04:49:00.003+11:00

Well we've got at least two hours to fill, so I'll tell you my history through a series of flashbacks.

Dragonball Z is sort of a guilty pleasure of mine. I got to watch it now and then when I was younger, but it wasn't until a little later in life when I was bed-ridden with glandular fever that I got into it. Basically my days consisted of:

- Sleeping
- Waking up to say bye to my girlfriend.
- Watch Dragonball Z (Cheez TV might have still been showing it at this point).
- Go back to bed.
- Sleeping
- ???
- Profit!!!

DBZ pretty much kept me sane during this time when I was otherwise incapacitated, in addition I actually enjoyed the action and humour of the show, the fight scenes (when they actually do fight) is still some of the best animation going. Sure I cop a lot of shit for liking it, but I don't mind, in fact it's mostly deserved. Dragonball Z happens to be the home of a huge amount of cliches associated with Anime.

So, the things I've learned from Dragonball Z are:

- Sometimes when you punch someone really hard, it reverberates within the space-time continuum, resulting in another two punches echoing in quick succession.

- When someone says something stupid or unexpected, everyone else will fall flat on their face or back. In some cases, one character reappears with a bandage on their forehead.

- If you're moving fast, the background will often blur to a series of straight lines.

- You can eat over 9000 tonnes of food without ever taking a dump, or getting fat.

- It's possible to fly without wings or other visible means.

- You can survive a nuclear blast, or possibly even division by zero (this was never explored however) with only a few burn marks.

- Blinking during awkward silence will produce a "poit" sound.

- Sleeping people will have a snot bubble coming out of their nose (really, it's a bubble, made out of snot, that expands and contracts in sync with the breathing)....

- Elderly women are always wise and sometimes psychically imbued. But no matter what, they are always incredibly insightful and intelligent. Old men, however, are all perverts trying to look up a young woman's dress or skirt.

- Everyone can see your flashbacks.

- Make a peace sign with your fingers and smile for the win.

- Sticking your middle finger up is simply "something bad" and not particularly rude.

- If you want to actually be rude to someone, all you need to do is pull down the lower lid of one eye with your finger and stick your tongue out, you may also make a "blehhhhh" noise if you wish. (Note: This is one I'm actually going to start doing, so beware)

- If you're in a fight, there's always time to stop for a chat with your enemy, onlookers, or even random passers by.

- If someone says they're strong, they are obviously bluffing. Let them power up or reach their ultimate form to prove yourself right.

- Cell's most famous piece of dialog never heard in the show was, "Imma Firin' Mah Lazors!!"

- There's always another level, you need to train harder.

- It's completely ok for someone to die, we can wish them back with the dragonballs.

- Oh wait, we've already wished them back once and they died again? Yeah, you're boned.

- God is a green guy with two smallish tentacles coming out of his head.

- If someone's last name is Satan, trust whatever he says, for he is our champion.

- Blondes kick more arse than Brunettes.

- If you're a good guy and have a brother, he is most likely evil.

- If you're a ridiculously cliche super hero, then make your alter ego an EVEN MORE ridiculously cliche super hero.

- Every single, solitary color, no matter how bright, dark or neon, that you can possibly imagine is a perfectly natural hair color.

- It's important to name any technique you use, you must also shout out the name of your technique any time you use it. If it's an attack, make sure the time it takes to say the attack is longer than the attack itself.

- Spikey hair.

- You can share your energy with others simply by raising your hands.

- Kids are far stronger then you, especially if you manage to piss them off.

- If someone plays an april fools joke on you, refuse to get the humour. Believe it as fact for at least 5 years.

- The scouter says "OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!" about his power level.

- What!? Nine Thousand!?

- The people of earth are in fact pretty stupid really, or at least gullible.

- The whole world can be run by a wolf with a moustache.

- Vegeta's a bit of a prick.

- Fact: As muscle increases, speed decreases.

- Healing tanks are Mondo Cool.

- If you're evil you are so going straight to HFIL...

O'Gara, O'Driscoll answer Ireland's call in what many knowledgeable rugby personalities call "Best game ever".

2008-12-31T14:59:00.004+11:00

Ireland captain Brian O'Driscoll crashing over for one of his three tries

October 31, 1999 was the date that New Zealand and France faced off in the world cup semi-final. That game is considered by many to be the greatest game of rugby ever played. Fast forward to December 31, 2008 where a capacity crowd packed the Sydney Football Stadium to watch Ireland and Australia play out what will be remembered as the greatest game in the history of any sport, no questions asked.

The people of Sydney were treated to a one-off game between these two giants of the sport. The aussies were coming off a fairly solid end of year tour, meanwhile the irish have a new coach, a few fresh faces and had a point to prove before the 6 nations.

In a game where there were cheers, laughs, tears and a bit of foul language, Ireland and Australia racked up an impressive 17 tries between them, showing some of the most dynamic and exciting rugby ever seen. A great achievement considering what turned out to be an ordinary refereeing effort from Steve Walsh, flanked by Alan Lewis and Johnathan Kaplan.

Ireland drew first blood in this epic encounter just three and a half minutes in through a try to Shane Horgan. The Wallabies looked set to hit back however Dennis Hickie took advantage of an Australian mistake just four minutes later, 14-0 to Ireland with just 7 minutes gone.

It wasn't until the 14th minute that Australia got some good possession and they took immediate advantage, scoring a try through Drew Mitchell who was sporting some very unusual hair. 5 minutes later and a try to Clyde Rathbone leveled the scores as 14 all.

Ireland responded from the ensuing kickoff, with Peter Stringer running around the defense like it wasn't even there, putting down under the posts and claiming the lead for Ireland once again.

Then it was Australia's turn to show their class, dominating territory with some sublime kicking and pinning Ireland on their own line for extended periods. In a ferocious display, the Wallabies ran in three tries in just 6 minutes. With their offense unable to put together more than a few phases at a time and the defense letting in 3 quick tries, Ireland looked out of answers. Facing the prospect of walking into the sheds down 35-21, Ireland had to work quickly and work quickly they did. Captain Brian O'Driscoll was the first to stand up and be counted, shaking off three defenders on the way to the line.

Australia were then camped on their own line and looked set to kick and defend the remaining two minutes of the half away. In what can only be described as "mental", the Wallabies tried to run from behind their own goal line. They coughed up the ball and a quickfire pass to the left saw Hickie crash over for his second just before half time. O'Gara added the extras and it was locked up at 35 a piece, Ireland now taking the momentum into the break.

The Wallabies came out firing in the second half however it was the patience of Ireland's backline that created the scoring opportunity, with O'Driscoll finding the line and putting the Irish ahead 42-35. Things only got worse for Australia when playmaker Stephen Larkham was handed a dubious yellow card for an alleged tackle without the ball. Playing with only 14, the Wallabies went into defense mode and kicked away possession at every opportunity. Despite the poor attack shown by the Wallabies during this period, they managed to score through the hard running of Wycliff Palu. Larkham returned and the Wallabies could finally put into practice the strategic changes made at half time, which resulted in a Lote Tuqiri try just minutes later. Giteau converted and the Wallabies found themselves up 49-42.

Ireland then threw caution to the wind, passing the ball around recklessly in an effort to hit back quick, which paid off with another Shane Horgan try just on the 60 minute mark.

With the scores deadlocked again at 49 all, the momentum shifted back and forth. Australia came close to scoring but some gutsy defense by the irish forwards kept them out. Both teams entered in a kicking duel for territory which Ireland were slowly winning, edging ever closer to the try line. Then finally, 71 minutes into the game came the break the irish were waiting for when the Wallabies were called offside just 13 metres out and almost directly in front. O'Gara stepped up and calmly slotted the kick through the uprights as well as the booming sound of the home crowd, which were now silent.

Australia needed to respond, however Ireland looked to be the team most likely to score next, getting close to the Wallabies line time after time. Some incredibly brutal Australian defense kept them out but it seemed to be only a matter of time. The turning point of the game was building like an avalanche, the next team to score would surely win. It started when O'Driscoll grubber-kicked past the Wallabies defense, the ball pulled up just short of the dead ball line and Australia had to play at it. Tuqiri did his best to ground the ball however was tackled out of bounds and was ruled to have carried the ball over, giving Ireland an attacking scrum 5 metres out.

There was a sense of foreboding about this scrum, Ireland were crossing the line this time. The Wallabies defense was tired and weakening, the irish knew it, the aussies knew it, and Rocky Elsom definitely knew it. It was his decision to collapse the scrum that not only resulted in a yellow card for Elsom, but also a penalty try. With O'Gara converting, the score was now 59-49 with just 3 minutes to go.

It's these situations when true all-stars rise to the occasion, Ronan O'Gara is one of these people and Australia needed their heroes to step up. However the next hero to be counted was none other than Ireland captain Brian O'Driscoll. Starting from deep within irish territory, O'Driscoll shrugged off defender after defender, finishing with class by side-stepping his way to the try line. 66-49 and what was a close game just minutes earlier was turning into a blowout with 2 minutes to go.

Ireland again had the ball and the vocal irish fans counted down the clock, "3!..2!!..1!!!..", the siren sounded and Ireland kicked the ball out. However referee Steve Walsh decided that time was not in fact up yet, and motioned for play to continue despite the fact that half the irish players had left the field and were on their 4th pint already. The Australians did not wait for Ireland to return and scored an unsportsmanlike try. It didn't put a damper on the end result however as Ireland proved stronger with the final score Ireland 66, Australia 56.

IRE 66(35) TRIES: O'Driscoll(3), Horgan(2), Hickie(2), Stringer, O'Gara, Penalty try. CON: O'Gara(9/9). PEN: O'Gara.

AUS 56(35) TRIES: Tuqiri(2), Rathbone(2), Mitchell, Larkham, Palu. CON: Giteau(8/8).

Referees:
Steve Walsh
Alan Lewis (ass)
Johnathan Kaplan (ass)

Must have rugby t-shirt, perfect Christmas pressie!

2008-12-15T11:38:00.000+11:00

Things I've learned from video games.

2008-12-12T15:26:00.005+11:00

It’s OK to kill people.

Dying doesn’t really matter much either.

If you’re 14, have hair covering your eyes and live in a small village, man up, because you’re going to have to save the world.

Medicine became obsolete in the year 2004, when doctors noticed that hiding behind a wall caused human health to regenerate to 100%.

Eating stuff found on the floor is good for you – your parents were wrong.

Sometime in the future, Earth will be menaced by hordes of alien spacecraft that fly in predictable patterns and can be killed in one hit. The logical course of action will be to despatch one brave hero in an untested plane/tank/spaceship to take them all on without help.

Winners don’t use drugs.

Buildings may have crates full of goodies on their roofs, so always check, even if it means riding a motorbike up the fire escape.

Keycards are only manufactured in primary colors.

Most guards forget you unsuccessfully tried to strangle them after walking around for 20 seconds.

It’s surprising just how useful martial arts are on the modern battlefield.

When you get shot, you don’t feel any pain, nor does it affect your aim. However, it does cause your vision to turn red for a couple of seconds.

If a crown princess is abducted by political dissidents or terrorists it is advisable to avoid using Special Forces and instead hire the services of an Italian plumber or a dizzy egg.

Firearms are most simply reloaded by pointing them at the wall and pulling the trigger.

Crates only contain one single item, much smaller than the crate itself. The item will usually be in the dead centre of the crate with no supporting packing material.

If you’re stuck in life and don’t know what to do, simply attempt to use every single item in your possession on your obstacle. If none of them work, go back the way you came. You’ve clearly missed something.

You can jump twice your own height, but water will kill you instantly.

Flipping while jumping mid-air makes you jump even higher.

Jumping on turtles’ heads is socially acceptable. Unless it’s being used as a euphemism for needing the toilet.

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t gain experience and knowledge by education and hard work. You get it from wandering around the countryside killing wildlife.

Princesses float farther than plumbers.

Despite what logic dictates, the ideal shape for a war robot is not squat, armored, with a low centre of gravity, but a bipedal humanoid. Ideally with hands to hold a gun, rather than built in weaponry.

Large men are slow but strong; women are fast but weak.

When you look down, you can’t see your feet.

Explosives don’t work on doors unless they’re a bit shinier than the other doors.

If working on high scaffolding, beware of gorillas throwing barrels off the top floor.

Always be sure to smash any crates you come across, they will always contain good things.

Despite the fact that modern weapons systems are effective over hundreds of miles, in the future all space/air/sea combat will be conducted within about 50 yards of the enemy.

Contrary to the strict regulations you might think pilots have to adhere to, you can actually fly any aircraft upside down beneath the Golden Gate Bridge without getting in trouble.

War is the best fun ever.

It doesn’t matter where you shoot someone, even if it’s in the foot, as long as you do it enough times there will eventually be an immediate transition between alive and dead.

There is no practical difference between walking into a weapon and picking it up.

In medieval times, women regularly fought in wars, wearing armour that afforded them equal protection to suits of plate mail worn by men, despite only covering about 3 inches of skin.

Most martial arts will teach you how to throw fireballs at about green belt level.

Roman and medieval generals had a zoomable and rotatable 3D view of the battlefield, and controlled their soldiers by clicking giant arrows.

Everyone speaks English, including Nazis, aliens and the living dead.

When your life ends you will be given 10 seconds to decide whether you fancy going again (in some circumstances this may cost you some change).

As long as you are wearing at least one ring you will never die.

Pulling out a weapon makes you see a + sign wherever you look.

Running from side to side or backwards is just as easy and quick as running forwards.

Never trust a giant monkey wearing a tie.

Fat people are always evil. If not from the beginning, they will betray you eventually.

Not only is it perfectly normal for animals to talk, but their default attitude is “sassy”.

Modern tank warfare will be replaced in the future by building a very large number of tanks on the battlefield itself, then attacking the enemy’s strongest point head-on with hundreds of them at once.

You know when you have won a fight when your opponent stands still, waiting for you to decapitate him.

Prostitutes will judge you on the fanciness of your car and give you 25% bonus health post-sex. This is only in the pre-AIDS ’80s. In 2008, you will be tsk-ed at by an Eastern European, which makes you feel sick and guilty, even though you’ve been stabbing people all day.

Karate and driving can both be learned in minutes simply by repeating sequential dance routines as requested by cartoon animals.

Wearing a pair of white gloves to work every day may seem an unwise choice if your chosen career is plumbing, but, in reality, you will never have to dirty your pristine mitts by fishing a swollen, fetid tampon from a shit-clogged outflow pipe.

The bodies of your murdered victims will fade and disappear if you wait for a few seconds.

Explosives are not stored, as you might expect, in secure containers in controlled environments, but in barrels that are littered around combat zones at random. Highly-trained evil soldiers are quite happy to engage in sustained fire-fights while standing next to them.

Doing athletics really hurts your wrist after a while.

You can’t ever trip, even when running backwards as fast as you can while firing a shotgun.

World War II infantry jargon included such phrases as “lol”, “n00b” and “OMG HaXXoR!!11!” Modern counter-terrorist SWAT teams use the same phrases.

People wink out of existence when you’re not there to see them.

On the whole, you can withstand a lot more bullets/punches/magic compared to the other guy.
You don’t need scintillating conversation get on in life. Two-word commands will do fine.

Many, if not all, problems can be solved with a Holy Hand Grenade.

Being on the goodies’ side doesn’t automatically make you winners of The War.

Food can heal most serious injuries instantly.

Even cyborgs/ninjas/special agents able to smash whole cities with their fists and defeat the mightiest opponent in close combat are stumped when confronted with a locked door or box, and have to go find the key.

Music spontaneously plays whenever you do anything exciting.

Modern military training teaches that the best way to defeat an enemy is to stand stock still in plain view of the enemy and fire wildly. Making sinister noises to reveal your location is good, too.

If you notice a discoloured section on a brick wall, try running up really close and pressing on it, for it may give way and lead you to a secret cache of weapons and armour.

Bullet holes will gradually disappear, foiling your attempts to draw bewbs on the ground with a machine gun.

When you’ve run out of food and stuff, just leave the house and then go back in again.

When you kill people, sometimes they turn into food or money. Or some bullets.

You can travel anywhere instantly, as long as you’ve been there before.

First aid kits can be applied to your injuries in under a second, and will instantly fix your injuries and make you healthier.

Flashlights only last for one minute, but thankfully recharge themselves over time.

If you’re in a castle looking for a lost loved one, they’re in another one.

If you’re good enough at trading/bartering – every single shop in the world will reduce their prices specially for you

You can lead a fulfilling and adventurous life, and keep several friends, without ever opening your mouth.

You can shoot open a padlock, but locks on wooden doors only ever leave a dent.

It is possible to carry an infinite amount of items, including a full sunday roast spread, for no adequately explored reason, without impeding either your speed or clothing.

Conversation is easy! Just think of two or three possible responses, and pick the one you think will lead to the greatest reward.

Firing a rocket launcher straight into the floor is an excellent idea, and will get you cool stuff, provided you jump into the air as you do it.

Women who are experienced mercenaries and can carry multiple heavy weapons do not look like Bulgarian discus throwers, but are often cute, slim, and have very large breasts.

The world is packed with unexplored ruins, most of which are packed to the rafters with treasure. Despite this, no one has yet bothered to explore them.

The owners of theme parks/zoos/hospitals are able to pick up visitors to their attractions with a giant grapple, and drown them in lakes without penalty.

Being shot in the face is only a minor inconvenience, but going into an area you are not supposed to will result in instant death.

Nazis/Alien Invaders/Evil Megacorps are always leaving medical supplies around for their opponents to heal themselves with. Their own soldiers are under strict instruction not to touch them. Ever.

You can probably fit another rocket launcher in your rucksack if you carefully rearrange those four ammo clips and that coke can.

If someone you don’t like is in a swimming pool, simply remove the steps to get out. Then they will be stuck and drown through exhaustion.

You can gaze at a woman’s tits for hours on end without either of you becoming embarrassed. However, attempts to mount her from every side like a determined St. Bernard will always result in you bouncing off her textured hide.

If you win a really big fight, don’t relax until you’ve made sure there isn’t a much more powerful robot version of your late opponent lurking in a corner.

“Ninja” is the most common occupation on the planet, just above “Secret Agent” and “Alien in Disguise”.

Comprehensive military training can be acquired simply by climbing a rope, crouching and firing down a range a few times

You can spin cars around by throwing banana peels at them.

Sewer pipes are merely gateways to strange new worlds.

You run faster when holding the knife.

Boom! Headshot!

Performing life-saving surgery is relatively easy.

Source: Various

Movember Gala Party

2008-11-28T10:32:00.005+11:00

Yo yo,

Sage here, gearing up for the Movember Gala Party. My persona is a hotshot short film producer who's has a little success and therefore thinks he's the shit.

White summer suit with fake tan is the go.

2008-11-28T08:18:00.003+11:00

Hey guys,

Having used the Nyko perfect shot and the Wii Blaster (the black one, not the one in the MyWii accessories list), I've noticed what a pain it is to reach the A button (and others), plus the massive delay on the trigger.

It just leads me to believe that simply fitting the remote to an attachment isn't the way to go, and that someone should release a proper light gun with the controls in places you can reach. Most likely we'll never see anything like this as it will cost about the same as a remote and the perception would be that people wouldn't pay that much when you can pay $18 for the attachment. Fair call, but I still want one.

Here's my rough design.

I'm left handed so I tried to work out a way to make it fairly intuitive for either hand. The D-Pad is on the other side of the handle.

What do you guys think? Trying to work out if it's worth butchering a wiimote and letting loose with the soldering iron to try and make one.

What I'm playing on the Wii at the moment and why, #01

2008-11-26T10:35:00.013+11:00

Hey guys,

I'm changing things up a little here by adding posts now and then about the awesomeness of the Nintendo Wii.

Currently I'm playing Tomb Raider: Anniversary, which was released on the Wii in Feb 2008. Lara Croft and the Tomb Raider games, movies, mugs, plates, colouring in books, etc have been around for 10 years now. To mark this occasion, a "re-visioning" of the original Tomb Raider was made and released to all major platforms, Wii included.

Apart from owning the first Tomb Raider movie (Angelina Jolie in tight clothing ftw), I never really got into Tomb Raider, so I thought this would be a great chance to give it a try, as it's essentially the original game, but re-designed with better graphics, story and controls that suit the Wii.

From the start I was a little iffy on whether I'd like this game, as the first thing you have to do is complete a (quite simple compared to later on) jumping puzzle. Jumping puzzles are my most hated of all puzzles, but I stuck it out. I'm glad I did as this has honestly been one of the most immersive games I've played in a long time, maybe even ever.

Having been a fan of Perfect Dark, No one lives forever, Alias, the sort of games with a female lead relying on stealth and cunning more than raw power, I'm no stranger to having to protect your reletively delicate flower of a character from being harrased by bats, rats, wolves, lions, gorillas, panthers, weird-arse mummy creatures, raptors and a t-rex (WTF!?)

In fact I managed to scare the shit out of myself quite early on. I'd climbed a set of stairs where two wolves were waiting for me, a bit of circle strafing in opposing directions made short work of them. I jumped to a couple of horizontal bars, over a stretch of water to another platform, where as very much expected, two more wolves met their end. Now once I clear an area out of enemies, I always put the camera into manual mode and check everything out, looking for secrets, where I may need to jump, etc. I completely let my guard down during this time and from behind a third wolf lunged out me, no music cue changes, no warning at all. It freaked me out and I loved it.

This theme of "changing things up" is common throughout the game and I'm not sure if it was a deliberate design. A lot of games will basically tip you off if there is an enemy close, the music will change to some dramatic theme and you'll hear the enemy approaching. Tomb Raider starts off like this, for example before you turn a corner you'll hear a wolf howl, or something I found is when traversing a tunnel that is pitch black, there is never going to be an enemy, however as soon as you reach the light on the other side, that's when you get attacked.

This is where Anniversary is different, sometimes the music will change, sometimes you'll hear the enemy beforehand, other times you won't. This has caught me out a few times (getting my torch out as there's a dark area ahead, but "oh no", the weird-arse mummy creature is BEFORE the dark area). You can't rely on the game telling you what's about to happen, you have to be ready for it. Couple this with some quite freaky music and sound effects and it really does suck you in.

If there is a negative in this game (and depending on your patience, could be a biggun), it's the camera/controls, essentially getting Lara to go where you want her to. To put it simply, Lara moves in relation to where to camera is positioned, not the direction she is currently facing. This in itself isn't a massive problem, however countless times I've been running to make a jump, the camera rotates slightly which puts me off course, but then trying to fix that using the analog stick on the nunchuck results in a massive over correction which makes her looks like she just can't take it anymore and lunges to her death. Doing this five or six times before you make a jump is the only thing to make it less immersive and kills that all-important suspension of disbelief.

Other than this one problem that can most of the time be managed with careful camera placement, the controls are fantastic. By default Lara moves in a way that I'll call "Spelunking mode", designed for running around the levels, exploring and getting through the ridiculous ammount of jumping puzzles. Pressing Z on the nunchuck brings up a manual target for shooting enemies, and I'll call this "Combat mode". Combat mode easily allows strafing, dodging attacks, diving out of the way, all while keeping your target in camera view.

The visuals look a bit better than PS2 quality (a common problem as the Wii won't handle graphics ported for true HD platforms like the 360 and PS3), however they're good enough and I only noticed a little choppiness in some areas. As I said the sound and music is very fitting and makes you feel like you are stuck in these temples, waiting for something to attack you.

If you play the game like I do in Pansy-mode (I.E. Cautiously approch every corner, explore everything first, etc), there is many many hours of fun ahead of you with this one.

Positives:
Very immersive experience.
Firing weapons with the wii-mote feels intuitive unlike some titles.
Different modes for exploring and combat.
Decent visuals (although I can't help but notice most of the on screen polygons have gone into Lara's bewbs).
Combat isn't always just a plain shoot-em-up

Negatives:
Jumping puzzles, get ready for lots.
Camera angle can make jumping puzzles even more annoying.

8.5/10

CJ van der Linde appeal's ban.

2008-08-29T19:37:00.004+10:00

South Africa management have decided to appeal tighthead prop CJ van der Linde's four-week ban stemming from last Saturday's Tri-Nations Test between the last place Springboks and Australia in Durban.

Van der Linde was found guilty of dangerous play after headbutting Australia scrumhalf Sam Cordingley as well as a further infringment during Saturday's match. He has been suspended from all rugby until September 22.

This latest appeal follows the Wallabies decision to fight the one-match ban of NSW and Australian flanker Rocky Elsom. Elsom had been banned after he was found guilty of licking his finger and touching Springboks captain Victor Matfield's arm during a lineout in last weekend’s match. After an over-the-phone appeal that lasted only 40 minutes (it took longer because they had to hang up and call back to continue taking advantage of 'yes time'), the one-match ban was overturned and Elsom has been named in the starting side for this weekend's match.

Interim Springboks coach Peter de Villiers was quoted as saying, "We're impressed with the way the SANZAR appeal process went for the Aussies. Elsom commited a penalty, he was penalised. It didn't need to go further than that." When questioned if they hoped Van der Linde's sentance would also be reduced, the Bok coach simply laughed, "Oh we're not trying to have the sentance reduced at all. As I said with Elsom, he was punished fairly on the field. Van der Linde should have been at least yellow carded on the first offence and red carded on the second. He got off lightly and we actually wish for the ban to be increased to 9 weeks."

SANZAR Disciplinary Officer Mr Nick Davidson QC of New Zealand is set to review this latest appeal, "We're quite impressed with this type of action", said Davidson. "I mean god knows we haven't a clue what we're doing most of the time so it's nice that a team will take matters into their own hands and make use of the honour system, as it were".

It is currently unknown how long the appeal process will take in Van der Linde's case, but the Springbok management hope the appeal will put Van der Linde out for the November tour, as well as any European competitions.

Waratahs biggest fans head north for Festival of Hate

2008-05-14T09:23:00.004+10:00

Sage and WaratahJesus leave Friday morning for Brisbane to see the festival of hate, already we've been niggling the shit out of those funny looking, banjo playing rednecks. So has Lote apparently, saying the reds are cop outs because they're claiming this role as "spoilers". I completely agree, why don't they try to win games and maybe be in the hunt for a semi-final spot of their own, instead of leaving it to the last minute to perform and being proud of the fact that they may or may not ruin other teams chances at success? You know what that's called? Jealousy...

We hit Brissy early Friday afternoon, we'll check in to our hotel (a very classy place I'm told....) which cost us $29 a night. Then it's straight on to the pub, where I'm sure we'll be cheering on the Blues to beat the Hurricanes. (P.S. Don't forget Friday is also loud shirt day, so you Force fans can pretty much just wear your jerseys to work.)

Then Saturday is the big one, Waratahs V Reds, the festival of hate, 3rd place versus... well who cares. One team going for a spot in the semi-final, another team... well I'm not sure why they're even turning up really. We'll be pilgrims in an unholy land but it'll be worth it when the Tahs win by 25 points and score at least 4 tries to seal up a home semi final. At this point it's going to be a "shirts and skins" game as none of the Waratahs luggage made it to Australia (103 bags or something like that, how do you lose 103 bags!?)... On the plus side, Lote's boots were in one of those bags.

After the game, we were supposed to be heading to the official post-game cocktail function. However I've been informed that due to a.... misunderstanding (one in which WaratahJesus may or may not have badmouthed nswru and mazda over a recent fan of the year competition in a thread on gothetahs.com, that may or may not have done the rounds at both nswru and mazda), we may not be able to go to that as people from mazda, etc will be at this function. Hopefully we'll still be able to go, but if not I'm sure we'll have a great time anyway.

Then Sunday we'll be heading back to wonderful Sydney, and booking tickets to the home semi-final that weekend. :)

2008 Subbies experience so far

2008-05-12T18:43:00.003+10:00

So there I am, at the tah bar getting wasted... and my mate who plays for Hornsby said I should stop being a sook and play rugby again (I stopped playing cos of my dodgy knee). After many drinks he convinced me that it was a really great idea, the end of the conversation went something like this:

Come on, get off your arse and play rugby again...
No... *pause* Yeah ok..

So I decided to play, at this stage the season was already one week in, so I was heading into a game with no training, no trial games, just the way it should be. We played Lindfield first up and I played pretty well in 4th grade on the wing, didn't have to do much except stop my opposite from scoring. Then I played 3rd grade (at number 8 for crying out loud). This was the first time I'd played as a forward and Number 8 wasn't actually too bad. I got to lift in the lineouts and pack the scrum, and they just used me as a battering ram in attack which is what I do anyway hehe.

Then I played 2nd in the centres. I was so tired and lazy by the 2nd grade game that on one occasion I stuck my arm out and jersey-grabbed one of the Lindfield players but didn't commit to the tackle, so he just took my arm with him and twisted it around. Very unfortunate as it's still hurting now.

Second grade was where I made (in my opinion) one of the cheekiest moves I've ever done, any refs out there feel free to inform me of the legalities of this as no one has been able to give me a concrete answer so far. Lindfield had the ball and the player was tackled, one of their players came in to clear out and I was countering him, so I'm pushing and he's pushing. Two more of them came in to clear out (ref has not called ruck at this point), I've dug my boots in but can't push them and they can't push me. So I've jumped back and let them drop, all three of them have fallen over the top and exposed the ball, which I've then stepped in to collect. The ref didn't say anything about unbinding and letting those guys drop (could be dangerous) but I'd never seen this done before.

So there you go, 3 games in my first week back, I was pretty chuffed with that.

More to come on the Subbies experience...

-UPDATE-
I have been informed by a ref that what I did was perfectly legal, and if anything they could have been penalised for diving over the ball. I have to admit it was pretty funny knowing that they were all now offside and had to go all the way around to come back through the gate.